Right well, here we are at some point in time that has 364 to 1 odds on it’s not being Christmas, but I thought I’d enumerate a few things that everyone’s favorite Satanist chose to bestow on widdle me.  Patience is not one of the virtues I have in stock at present, so we’re gonna start with number 12 and work down.  Just once.  Only once.  

You know the tune by now-

On the twelveth day of Christmas, dear Murdoc gave to me:

Twelve basses strumming- mmmmm, lovely strumming grind-againstable instruments, best presie ever

Eleven gunmen sniping- This wasn’t really a gift, I was being used as a shield at the time-why can't he just have all his exes killed? Save us all some time?

Ten demons creeping- All over me.  Not pleasant, or at least, not ‘till I got used to it- oooohh, yes, that's lovely...creep harder,nnngh...

Nine zombies dancing- After five times through, Thriller gets a bit tiring, so I chose to put them to sleep.  They’re in a better place now- in that great big incinerator in the floor, haha.

Eight sods for bilking- I got to help extort large sums of money from some…people ol’ Muds introduced me to.  Fool them twice- they’re fuckin’ morons.

Seven funds for skimming- Another non-gift-gift, he kept a good portion of my profits from the above, but the other option was getting kicked down the Hell-hole while he took all of it, so…

Six y-fronts fraying- Him just throwing his underwear at me.  I need new skin now, but in the meantime…*plays with the stretched out fronts*

Five stolen rings!- They were piss cheap and didn’t fit him, so those got chucked at me too.  

Four crawling birds- Unlike the creeping demons, these sad desperate chickies were not acceptable on me.  They’re still crawling though, now that I’ve broken all of their knees- damn fangirls trying to steal _my_ used underwear.  It’s mine to E-bay and mine alone!  Greedy bitches.

Three fake tens- Thought I was catchin’ a rare bit of charity and goodwill, ‘till I noticed they had his face on them.  Might still get some use out of them though, I’m out of confetti at present- never know when a celebration might break out.

Two gentle shoves- Down a flight of stairs.  The stairs were not gentle.  My punishment for ripping up 'good money'.  

And the left kidney out of 2-D!!- Which was originally his I suppose…black crusty thing isn’t it- *pokes Stewart’s back*


Well thanks your lordship for all of your spleen crunchingly spectacular gifts!  And just when the scars from last year were starting to fade…

MERRY WHATEVER-THE-HELL-DAY-IT-IS-AT-THE-MOMENT EVERYONE!